A Running Mom

Photo Credit: MrsHoppy

Tip 9: Take A Break

Don’t these girls inspire you?

So I’ve been incredibly quiet as I deal with the reality that I cannot complete a goal I set for myself. My training has been interrupted as I deal with a knee thing and a time contraint thing. But as a dear friend once said to me, sometimes you just need to take a break. The running will wait.

I’m tired of waiting! And yet, as I strengthen the muscles around my knee, I do realize that sometimes you just need a break, it’s true. And maybe I’ll be able to turn my running around and get ‘em for the next one!

In the meantime, since there’s no pain or swelling for miles under 6, I ran a local race 5K and took 2nd in my age group! LOL. It was a fun run. Such a fun run! I finished with a tween girl who ran a terrific race. She is 9. Me? Well, I’m not 9. Or 29. Or 39. But I’m not 49! LOL. But it reminded me of how running races brings joy to all, doesn’t it? You’re outside, with a group of like-minded people, doing something that brings us together in a common bond. Some are nervous. Some are excited. But all are filled with a level of anticipation and then a great sense of accomplishment when the race is over and everyone has done something good.

I enjoyed that finish immensely, not because of a fast time and not because of a great race, but because I helped this little girl finish strong in a race she had no idea that she would win for her age group. Cheers to Elizabeth!

As for me? Well, it builds character to deal with disappointment. It strengthens our spirit to perservere. It give us joy to help out others. These are the things I hope to value in a few weeks after continued rest, a new pair of shoes, and a renewed focus on my running plan.

Hm… there’s a bit of Tip 10 in that one, isn’t there! There’s certainly a great theme to bring to iTwixie.com girls, too! Sometimes we all just need to take a break. Strengthen up. And begin again. It may even make us stronger.

How do you deal with having to to bail on things you value?

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

Photo Credit: Tony the Misfit

Tip Five: Ask Your Friends. Before you bail on any given run on any given day, just ask someone you know what they think about this decision. Or let them in on your inner debate.  For example, you look out the window and it’s raining. It’s pouring. The old man is snoring. You can’t imagine running in the rain today. You start considering the treadmill, the gym, the possibility of post-posing the whole week’s running plan because of the terribly disappointing weather. Before you make your decision, reach out to some friends and get their feedback. You might be surprised by the answers you get!

This is how it worked out for me this week.  I looked out the window and saw the rain pouring down. I debated running in it vs. running on the treadmill. So I reached out to my Twitter friends because in my gut I knew what I thought I ought to do, but I just needed a little push. And they responded immediately! It was so inspiring! Their answer? GO run in the rain!

Thanks, @katgautreaux and @_jenniferlynn_! My two new BFFs helped me remember the fun of running in the rain and even better, helped me achieve my running goals last week! Had I run on the treadmill, I never would have run 4 miles. I would have run a quick 2. And you know what? I loved that run in the rain!

Next time it’s raining, I’m going to kick up my heels and go for it.

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

Photo Credit: laurenatclemsen

Tip 4: Think These 5 Things

So it’s that time of day that you can run. Maybe it’s first thing in the morning or right after dinner or perhaps your lunch hour and you’re considering whether or not to hit the trails. Stop right there and think these 5 things:

1. Put on running gear

2. Put on shoes

3. Grab ipod

4. Walk out the door

5. Run

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

It’s clear to me.
I need to run every morning or it’s just not going to happen.

Done.

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

I’m often reminded that we live in a tiny world. With the launch of iTwixie.com, I’m getting the rare opportunity to hear from girls all over the globe. It’s amazing to me that regardless of culture, many of these girls struggle with many similar themes. And yet, doesn’t it make sense? If you’re a girl 8-14, aren’t you just bursting with enthusisam, curiosity and the wish to be who you feel you really are deep down inside? And as you find yourself experiencing all kinds of new things, aren’t you realizing yourself that there is even more to you than you thought?

Do you remember what it was like to be a tween?

I started to run when I was a tween. I thought running would help me look a certain way. But over time running became my escape. A pressure release. My challenge. Time alone. A moment of clarity. And at the end of every run I felt that everything was really a lot better than before I had gone on that run.

Thing is, today, our global society puts more pressure on our tween girls than ever. But we don’t have to. We can join forces and foster the development of tween girls no matter where they live. We can help tween girls identify tools for identifying their moments of clarity. Escape. Release. Challenge. We can help them see the world around them in a better light.

iTwixie.com. Join the revolution. Because it is a small world and together we can change it!

May your next run be a good one!
Rebecca

Photo Credit: Cole24

Look at that.
Read this.
Then go for your interval run!

Confidence
You don’t always have to be in the lead…
If you have the heart to come from behind.
Don’t give up hope, don’t doubt yourself,
And a new strength is what you’ll find.
The spirit of competition, the desire to succeed
will always be important for life.
So give your all, everything you’ve got,
No matter the occasion, through pain and strife.
So step up to the plate, enter the race,
Never be afraid to take your turn.
Because winners are people who just never quit,
And this is a life lesson we all will learn.
©Melissa Underwood

May your next run be a good one.
Rebecca

Just ran a fabulous, hilly 4 and I feel wonderful. This song is stuck in my mind. I love it. And it bears a significance to me right now, as I reflect on the past few months in the life of our daughter, a 6th grader.  She’s found “the greatest love of all” this year. Maybe you’ll understand better when you read the story.

Over the past few months, my husband and I have learned about our daughter’s struggle to confront a bully in her school. Good news is that she did it. Now she’s establish herself with a group of happy and helpful friends who believe in the goals she’s setting for herself for the end of the school year. Her strength to move away from the bully didn’t come from watching role models of mean girls on tv or today’s mean girl movies. She didn’t read about what to do in the “chic lit” stories that the bully loves to read. And candidly, she didn’t follow any specific advice from me or my husband. We had no idea that she was even being bullied. But something we’ve been saying did help to spark her inner voice. This, coupled with a few anti-bullying initiatives at her school, seemed to help her identify the bullying problem.

See, we always discuss with our kids how important it is to choose good friends. We’ll ask them, “Which friends are helping you become the best ‘you’ that you can be?”  Well, this year, as our daughter started to meet some new girls in middle school, she found herself thinking about her friends. She started to evaluate which ones were helping her become the best kid she could be. I find this amazing. But this is what she tells us. Then, her school started to educate the kids on what it means to be bullied.  So she found herself struggling with her friendship with a girl who, unbeknownst to us, constantly degraded her, insulted her, and started even physically pushing her. Sometimes she was nice. Most of the time she created havoc. Our daughter came to realize that this girl who she had known for years, wasn’t a friend at all. Our daughter realized, on her own, that she was actually being bullied. She told me that she thought to herself, “I don’t have to put up with it anymore.” And she spoke with her school counselor and made arrangements to be moved away from the bully. My husband and I did notice a dramatic change in our daugher: She became happier. More fun. Nicer to her siblings. Started doing better in school. Wearing more creative clothing. And now she’s even taking better care of herself. Unbelievable.

Now that we know the whole story, we’ve gotten involved with the school, with our daughter’s ongoing interactions with the girl, and to an extent, even the family. It turns out, this girl had been bullying more girls than just our daughter. The parents seem incredibly surprised at their daughter’s behavior. And since we all agreed that it does no good to allow anyone to continue behaving this way, the family responded quite pro-actively. Hopefully this experience will end up having a positive impact on many more than just our daughter.

So you see, it’s been an amazing few months.

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

~ Henry David Thoreau

Powerful, right?

Photo Credit: www.freewebs.com

Words can totally pump me up.

Photo Credit: www.groovyruby.com

How can you resist strong, lovin’ and FUN?

Photo Credit: www.imallgirl.com

We’re like superheroes. I may use one superpower to overcome a challenge that you totally avoid because of your superpower. We each hold a powerful gift that we can share.

What’s your superpower?  

Running is not my superpower. But it is my psychologist. My shoes are the couch. The distance is the discussion. And while my body gets stronger the more I run, my spirit gets strengthened, too. And above all, I do see clearer at the end of a good run. 

Maybe my superpower is that I see grey. My favorite friendships and working relationships seem to be with people who see black and white. Their perspectives challenge me. And I love it. My perspective can be challenging, too. But I do find that sometimes I benefit my friends and colleagues by helping them consider all sides of an issue. 

What is your superpower? 

I’m off to run my 10K in the morning. I hope to find more concrete options for the challenges that have presented themselves to me this week. I hope to find inspiration to approach these challenges head-on. Off I go!

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

Photo Credit: www.volusia.k12.fl.us

And so the saga continues for my 11 year-old girl. Now she wants to quit activities to avoid a girl who continues to call names, push and make mean comments. Ugh.

I had to go for a fast, 2-miler to think this one through. What to do?

I came up with a plan. I let her bail on one activity, since it’s something she really had outgrown months ago, anyway. And then I sat her down to figure out a few things that have been going on with this girl so she could practice some responses. She and I role-played what to say if the girl pushed her, said something mean or interrupted a conversation. And I sent her off to school. I thought, there she goes. Ready to deal. She has real tools to use against the bully.

I felt good.

But then, as I went about my day, I found myself wondering why this little girl is bullying my daughter. I know that bullies need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way — to feel more important, popular, or in control. Could this be why?

I wondered, is the girl just acting on how she’s treated at home? Is she mimicking some of the rude, thoughtless characters that seem to fill today’s tv programs? Are we, as a society, allowing more bullying in our schools today, as more and more parents seem to allow disrespectful and rude behavior?

And then I realized that this is going to take a good 10k — or a whole weekend of running — to come up with some good theories. So, to prepare, I spent a few minutes doing a little research. What I found disturbed me. Many tips include telling the child to walk away, ignore the bully, tell a teacher. I’m not sure if these are good tactics for my daughter. She can only walk away, ignore and avoid so much. She’s leaving fun conversation, avoiding activites, etc., and in my opinion, inconvenienced too much just because one little girl is rude, mean-spirited and needs help. I know. My opinion. But really, how can I keep telling my daughter to avoid this girl? 

Meanwhile, the new friends my daughter has found bring out joy and laughter in her. I’m delighted. She seems full of life and is enthusiastic about school. She even told me that maybe Bully Girl is going through something; is choosing some tough friends; just isn’t herself. I’m so proud of my daughter for coming to those conclusions on her own. 

It’s striking, though, when I look around and see what our society models for our kids. Maybe we’re not doing our job. Maybe what would help, is if we treated each other with a little more kindness, thoughtfulness, patience and understanding. On some level, we all have to admit, we’re pretty nasty to each other, when you consider many sitcoms on tv, reality tv, commercials, radio programming, and even current events stories that fill our nation with negativity.

If we agree that we’re all, each of us, whether we’re a kid, a tween, a teen or an adult, could use a little patience, caring and understanding, then isn’t the first thing we ought to do is reach out and show others these exact traits in ourselves?

Next time you feel like shouting, think about how you could approach the same comment with kindness, especially if some kid is watching. Try and say something positive. Diffuse the situation. Get the other side laughing with you! You may be helping that kid to become more compassionate, too!

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

Photo Credit: www.locountry.com

i ran today in  running pants

a long-sleeved shirt, and hat 

it felt like 80 or so degrees

i finished and collapsed on the mat

i looked in the mirror, my face all wet

and red, i looked like a beet

i smiled and thought back of a day

when sand was under my feet

a hot, hot day in Charleston

 the kids ran to find shade

i ran to find clarity, and felt too hot

my energy seemed to fade

but i ran anyway; i made those steps

a challenge to overcome

and now i look back with a smile

i wish to be a that bum

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca