A Running Mom

Photo Credit: iTwixie.com

Character: Character is a set of behavior traits that define what sort of person an individual is. It determines whether a person will effectively achieve goals, be forthright in dealing with others and will obey the laws and rules of the group. Although character is related to personality, it is not the same thing. Personality is primarily inborn traits, while character consists of learned behavior. Both may vary with the situation or circumstances.

Aren’t these girls fabulous? They are full of joy, happiness and are showing off their unique character. Sure they’re dressed up for Halloween — but they aren’t dressed in skimpy outfits, as divas or in the new wave of costume that tries to make our girls look like adults. They’re dressed up as football players! Very cool! Full of character!

To me, character is in crisis today. As a society we do not focus enough on helping to develop character in our budding leaders for tomorrow. This development has to begin early and continue through the pre-adolescent years, because by high school, much of this development must be in place to help our high schoolers make quality choices.

Instead of character development, it seems that our world is much more into complaining about stuff and focussing on appearances. In fact, as a society, we focus so much on appearances, that is it any wonder that our impressionable, young girls are finding themselves in crisis over how they look? Today we have a record number of a few, startling achievements: a record number of tween girls suffering from depression, eating disorders and contemplation of suicide.

Trouble is, there are numerous organizations out there who believe the problem is that our girls have low self esteem.

Maybe that is part of the problem. And, indeed, part of the solution.

But what if, maybe, the trouble starts with each adult today who has dropped the ball in aiding in the character development of our girls?

Regardless of whether or not you agree with me on that one, you will find this next thought challenging at the least and worth trying — TODAY — at the most!

Make TODAY the day that you DO something that empowers YOU and your daughter!

Start these TODAY:
- Stop gossiping at all, but especially in front of your daughter.
- Compliment your daughter on something she has done today, instead of how she looks.
- Do not mention one flaw of yours in front of your daughter.
- Start a meaningful project that your daughter can do as well, such as writing letters to the troops, collecting food for the hungry or designing a new way to collect paperboard for recycling in your home.
- Take 20 minutes and use them to make you and your daughter STRONGER: Lift some weights, or go for a walk or run, or take the Lunge Challenge on iTwixie.com with your daughter — this just might be the start to a whole new and stronger you and stronger daughter.

Well?

I’m no longer accepting comments on this blog, as I began to receive thousands everyday by some new friends representing a broad array of nonsense products. So, alas, until I install better filtering, please send your comments to my up and coming facebook page: A Running Mom!

May your next run be a good one.
Rebecca

Photo Credit: www.volusia.k12.fl.us

And so the saga continues for my 11 year-old girl. Now she wants to quit activities to avoid a girl who continues to call names, push and make mean comments. Ugh.

I had to go for a fast, 2-miler to think this one through. What to do?

I came up with a plan. I let her bail on one activity, since it’s something she really had outgrown months ago, anyway. And then I sat her down to figure out a few things that have been going on with this girl so she could practice some responses. She and I role-played what to say if the girl pushed her, said something mean or interrupted a conversation. And I sent her off to school. I thought, there she goes. Ready to deal. She has real tools to use against the bully.

I felt good.

But then, as I went about my day, I found myself wondering why this little girl is bullying my daughter. I know that bullies need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way — to feel more important, popular, or in control. Could this be why?

I wondered, is the girl just acting on how she’s treated at home? Is she mimicking some of the rude, thoughtless characters that seem to fill today’s tv programs? Are we, as a society, allowing more bullying in our schools today, as more and more parents seem to allow disrespectful and rude behavior?

And then I realized that this is going to take a good 10k — or a whole weekend of running — to come up with some good theories. So, to prepare, I spent a few minutes doing a little research. What I found disturbed me. Many tips include telling the child to walk away, ignore the bully, tell a teacher. I’m not sure if these are good tactics for my daughter. She can only walk away, ignore and avoid so much. She’s leaving fun conversation, avoiding activites, etc., and in my opinion, inconvenienced too much just because one little girl is rude, mean-spirited and needs help. I know. My opinion. But really, how can I keep telling my daughter to avoid this girl? 

Meanwhile, the new friends my daughter has found bring out joy and laughter in her. I’m delighted. She seems full of life and is enthusiastic about school. She even told me that maybe Bully Girl is going through something; is choosing some tough friends; just isn’t herself. I’m so proud of my daughter for coming to those conclusions on her own. 

It’s striking, though, when I look around and see what our society models for our kids. Maybe we’re not doing our job. Maybe what would help, is if we treated each other with a little more kindness, thoughtfulness, patience and understanding. On some level, we all have to admit, we’re pretty nasty to each other, when you consider many sitcoms on tv, reality tv, commercials, radio programming, and even current events stories that fill our nation with negativity.

If we agree that we’re all, each of us, whether we’re a kid, a tween, a teen or an adult, could use a little patience, caring and understanding, then isn’t the first thing we ought to do is reach out and show others these exact traits in ourselves?

Next time you feel like shouting, think about how you could approach the same comment with kindness, especially if some kid is watching. Try and say something positive. Diffuse the situation. Get the other side laughing with you! You may be helping that kid to become more compassionate, too!

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

Photo Credit: thebullrunner.com

Check out these moms who ran the “Milkshake Marathon” — a fun run for breastfeeding. Can you imagine?Breastfeeding moms running a marathon? I’m sure that’s shocking to some. Not to me. After I had my first child, I felt determined to get back into running shape, so I trained for the NYC Marathon (with the doctor who delivered my baby, can you believe it?). I had my first child in June and ran the NYC marathon in November. It was a challenge, but it ended up really making me feel like I could accomplish anything. That’s pretty much the feeling at the finish of a big race you’ve trained to run, isn’t it? That race, for me, represented so much, because I was one of those moms who planned to go back to work, but when the time came to leave that baby, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to be a working mom. But I just couldn’t leave that baby? See the irony there? More on that later.

I can still feel the incredible soreness of needing to nurse my daughter at the end of the race… I rarely went 8 hours during a day without nursing her, and by the time I made it back home to my 5-month old, I was bursting! True story.  

Photo Credit: www.meetup.com

Check out these women! They are new runners in Washington who trained together through meetup.com. Don’t they look like a fun group to run with? 

Photo Credit: catherinedrew.wordpress.com

And then there’s this woman, finishing a race with a huge smile. Don’t you love it? Best part of her story is that the smile isn’t because she finished. It’s because she spotted the photographer too late to strike her running pose! I simply love this pic and this story. How many times have you run a race and reviewed the pictures from it with dismay, as you see yourself either looking too comfortable or a tad weary!

At least in this shot she looks really happy! I’d take that!

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca

So all you peeps out there who, like me, enjoyed the bliss of running today and came up with a fabulous idea because of it, here’s to you! For all you people who procrastinated one more day, get off that couch and hit it… the road, the track, the treadmill… get out there and RUN! You’ll be glad you did. I sure am. 

Treadmill running usually drives me crazy, but not today.  It was all about running faster and breathless, until my legs flew beneath me like an 8 year-old girl running for a fly ball she desperately wants to catch but knows she’s likely to drop it.  Panicked.  Frantic.  And awkward.  

That was me.  Today.  On the old treadmill.

And it was fabulous.

I even conjured up a terrific idea for the holiday season.  My girls are going to love it!  More on that later…

May your next run be a good one.

Rebecca